Your Host at work

What do you like about what's going on at Circus-Maximus.com? Or, if you're the whiny type, tell us what stinks! We may not fix it, but we'll listen...

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Zaphod Beeblebrox
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Your Host at work

Post#1 » Fri Mar 17, 2006 7:56 pm

Poor ][avok:

Image

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Sysop
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Re: Your Host at work

Post#2 » Fri Mar 17, 2006 9:38 pm

Zaphod Beeblebrox wrote:Poor ][avok:

Image


The remote control for women I sent ya is better.
Best Regards,

Joe

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Zaphod Beeblebrox
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Re: Your Host at work

Post#3 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:14 am

Sysop wrote:The remote control for women I sent ya is better.


Nah. This is SOOOO accurate. Especially since you KNOW you always get that call about 0.25 seconds after you think, "Well, I guess it's about time for me to sign off for my break" and about 0.25 seconds before you can hit the 'unavailable' button on your phone!

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Rimstalker
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Post#4 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:42 am

I was doing support for BMW (those guys there have been using PCs for ages now) and was quite amused when one user did not know what the desktop was.

Solution to the problem: Sir, what is the first thing you see when you boot up your PC? My background image. Ahh, ok, then please go to your background image...

That guy was legendary. Since he was unable to do right-clicks and also had problems left-clicking where I wanted him to click I told him to use keyboard shortcuts. And every time I told him to press Ctrl + X he would put down the receiver (I could hear the 'clonk' when he put it on his desk) and use both hands :).
Wirklich reich ist, wer mehr | Truly rich is, who holds
Träume in seiner Seele hat, | more dreams in his soul
als die Realität zerstören kann.| than reality can destroy.

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Sysop
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Re: Your Host at work

Post#5 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 9:51 am

Zaphod Beeblebrox wrote:
Sysop wrote:The remote control for women I sent ya is better.


Nah. This is SOOOO accurate. Especially since you KNOW you always get that call about 0.25 seconds after you think, "Well, I guess it's about time for me to sign off for my break" and about 0.25 seconds before you can hit the 'unavailable' button on your phone!



Image

Ahhhh, there it is...
Best Regards,

Joe

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Zaphod Beeblebrox
Posts: 688

Post#6 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 12:29 pm

Rimstalker wrote:I was doing support for BMW (those guys there have been using PCs for ages now) and was quite amused when one user did not know what the desktop was.

Solution to the problem: Sir, what is the first thing you see when you boot up your PC? My background image. Ahh, ok, then please go to your background image...

That guy was legendary. Since he was unable to do right-clicks and also had problems left-clicking where I wanted him to click I told him to use keyboard shortcuts. And every time I told him to press Ctrl + X he would put down the receiver (I could hear the 'clonk' when he put it on his desk) and use both hands :).


Yeah, but I'll bet you never got a 'relay call' did you? The husband is in the living room with the computer and the wife is on the phone with you in the kitchen. ...yelling instructions to the husband and relaying it back to you! It's even MORE fun when they're 99 years old and three-quarters deaf!

How about those, ahem, 'ebonics' calls? "I'm sorry, what did you say was wrong?" "I'm sorry, can you say that again, please?" When what you really want to say is, "SPEAK ENGLISH DAMNIT!!!"

...or the hard core rednecks that don't really speak english? "Ah own no was wrong thishar thang. Ah mash thu buttuns ahspostanit don't do nuthin!" They're usually really mad, too. ...and half in the bag or better by the time they call.

Then on top of the communication issues, add the standard lUser issues, "The Start button? Is that by the power button?" "Ah mashed thu cancel buttun 'cus I wan't sure what ta do."

I actually heard a recording of a call where there was a woman on the phone working through a problem with her printer. In the background you hear a loud *BANG* and she says, a moment or two later, "Uhm, can we speed this up a little, my son just shot himself." The rep says, "Ma'am, maybe you'd better go take care of him?" She says he's not hurt bad and she really wants to get her printer fixed. The rep got her off the phone pretty fast, without fixing the problem. Her call records, however, show that she was back on with another rep within ten minutes.

Next time you call for tech support think about what the person you are talking to may have gone through right before you got on the phone with them.

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Rimstalker
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Post#7 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 12:46 pm

I know how stupid users can be - I did one year 1st level for a ISP while I was at uni, but that was 2nd level for a company where the employees definately should know how to use a computer.

I had one lovely old lady in particular. She had a couple of friends, who were into painting and they would make scans and send emails with a 5 mb bmp attached. Too bad she had a 33.6 k modem which choked on shit like that. So every time that happened, she would give me a quick call, I had her account and password stored and would log into her inbox, get the bmp reduce the quality and turn it into a jpeg.

But the one with "my son shot himself" is pretty weird, I admit that.
Wirklich reich ist, wer mehr | Truly rich is, who holds
Träume in seiner Seele hat, | more dreams in his soul
als die Realität zerstören kann.| than reality can destroy.

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Cherek
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Post#8 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:54 pm

What about the secretary who calls you on the telephone because she is having a computer problem. After briefly trying to figure out the problem, you tell her to reboot the system. Now, after about twenty seconds, you ask her what is on the screen and she says “It is now safe to turn off the computer”. You tell her to now turn off the computer by pushing the power button. You tell her to push the power again to turn it on. After about another minute, you ask her to tell you what is the screen and she says “It is not safe to turn off the computer”. You then ask her to repeat the process and get the same results. You get out of chair and go to the next building to her office. Once you get there, you find out that she thinks that turning off the monitor is the same thing as turning off the computer.
The line below is true.
The line above is false.

Cherek

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Trillian
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Post#9 » Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:13 pm

Commodore Cherek, IRJTN wrote:What about the secretary who calls you on the telephone because she is having a computer problem. After briefly trying to figure out the problem, you tell her to reboot the system. Now, after about twenty seconds, you ask her what is on the screen and she says “It is now safe to turn off the computer”. You tell her to now turn off the computer by pushing the power button. You tell her to push the power again to turn it on. After about another minute, you ask her to tell you what is the screen and she says “It is not safe to turn off the computer”. You then ask her to repeat the process and get the same results. You get out of chair and go to the next building to her office. Once you get there, you find out that she thinks that turning off the monitor is the same thing as turning off the computer.


Wow. That's one stupid secretary.

For many years I worked as an Administrative Assistant for Progressive Insurance. My division had 2 Tech Support people for 500 users. If anyone in the office had a computer problem and Tech Support was busy, they called me.
Trillian

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